Surprise Ending! People Suck,

Hi world. You suck. The end.

No, wait, there's more. Why do you suck? Because you're full of selfish, pompous douchebags.

Before you, the douchebags, get all snarl-faced, know that I include myself in this equation. So shut up, or I'll punch you in the throat. I am also selfish and pompous. I'm just not as good at getting what I want.

But hold up a second. Let's review the world today. Go to your nearest window. Just do it. Look outside. See the people? Try to distinguish between those who seem happy and those who seem frustrated--those who have managed to surround themselves with the things and people they want and those who've not. Got it?

Good. Hold an image of each and every one of those happy people in you mind while I tell you this: all those people recently stepped on someone, screwed them over, whined, cheated, or manipulated someone else to get their way.

Now, The Others. Put their images in your mind and hear this: some of those people have consciences. Some of those people today came to a proverbial "fork in the road", faced with a decision of whether or not they would, as the happy people would, cheat their way to happiness, and they chose the moral option. Now they are unhappy. And some of those people took the other route, cheating people, and yet have nothing to show for it. They've lost, and are, perhaps, the saddest group because of it. Having attempted to sacrifice their morality for happiness, they lost both.

And we're all to blame. All of us, because we take part in this system, we conform to it and shape ourselves to fit its pieces. Some of us even believe in it like a religion.

Haha! Just kidding! No one sees the world this way! How depressing would that be?

Puppies.

Ice Cream.

Summer Love.

Your dream car.

Bubbles.

A good joke.

The world cares.

The above is a work of bitches meant for comedic value. Any resemblance to actual persons, ideas, or feelings--living or dead--is coincidental.